Homework CAN Be Cool

The following is an assignment I completed for my Mass Media & Society class. I had to make an autobiography/memo-schmemo thaaang. It's written in 3rd person because it had to be. I hope you can dig it. Heeeere goes:

BRIEFING MEMO Rachel Wilder

BORN: March 10, 1992

SUMMARY: full-time student at Belmont University, majoring in Religion and the Arts, creative force to be reckoned with, sarcasm enthusiast, concussionist, and klutz.

QUOTE: “I dig music.”

DETAILS: Born a whopping 8 lbs. 11 oz., Rachel always felt she had a lot to give the world. Her parents, 2 sisters, and even she realized from the get-go that she was different. When adults asked her questions, she knew the proper polite response, but instead, she offered an honest one. At the age of 2 her pediatrician asked her older sisters and her if they liked his brand new shirt. The oldest said, “Oh, yes. You look very handsome.” The second said, “That is a great shirt.” Rachel said, “That shirt does nothing for you.”

That same year the Wilders packed up and moved to Miami (most likely a decision unrelated to the “doctor incident”), and shortly thereafter Rachel began to attend pre-school. She quickly developed an affinity for animals of any kind, but especially dogs—Rottweilers to be exact. For one assignment, all of the students needed to color in an image the teacher prepared of a dog on construction paper. Though Rachel did not color in the lines in most areas of her life, she took this matter seriously, modeling her dog after an actual dog breed, despite the looming peer pressure to make a “pink retriever.” Her interest in art did not stop there. For Mother’s Day all the children were supposed to make painted clay pins for their mothers; they were allowed to make a flower or a heart. Rachel, however, decided to make a Flubber pin as her new favorite movie had just come out. Her mother couldn’t have been more proud, and her mother’s shirt couldn’t have been more ripped due to the density of the artwork. Needless to say, it was a source of pride that never left the home.

At the age of 6 her family once more went for the nomadic lifestyle, picking up and moving to Ft. Lauderdale. When asked to comment on her experience there Rachel said very little. After all, the family only lived there for 6 months.

Next was Orlando, the home of Disney World, which is the home of Mickey Mouse. While the Wilders agreed that it was a vibrant city, “it was also chock-full of confused tourists that lacked the capacity to simultaneously drive and read their Magic Kingdom maps.” Rachel made some of her best friends there. She continued to feel “different” from her classmates though. This was evident when her class studied the endangered animals list. There seemed to be about 6 panda projects, 5 koala projects, and 5 leopard projects. She found this boring and redundant, so she chose the smelliest animal in the world, the Tasmanian Devil and suggested the Komodo Dragon for others.

At the age of 15, her sisters had both gone off to college. Her parents and she moved yet again to the hustling and bustling Atlanta, or the quite accurately named “Hotlanta.” She attended high school, and it was there that she rediscovered her passion for arts, which were neglected at her previous school. For her portfolio she needed to develop a theme or concentration. Finally, a light bulb quite literally went off. Her choice of subject: light bulbs. Again, Rachel Wilder was not like other kids. She recalls telling her parents of her decision, “First they laughed for a while. Then they asked why. This didn’t upset me. I think that in some ways they expect me to do peculiar things by now, and they accept me all the same.”

The same year, after having visited her older sister Brooke at Belmont University multiple times in her high school career, she decided it was the place she wanted to be. She selected a Religion and the Arts major with a Spanish minor, so that she could combine 3 of her greatest passions. The only issue is that she is still deciding if one of them is art or writing. She does not know for sure what she would like to do later in life. “All I know is that I want to help people, especially children. I do not want this to be limited to children in the United States, so I’m trying to master my Spanish, another love of mine.” Rachel does have one specific goal for the future though; “One day… One day my artwork will hang on the sacred walls of Bongo Java.”